When I first discovered that I was carrying quadruplets, my husband's aunt gave my number to a wonderful woman named Amy who had quadruplets (11 at the time.) Amy gave me a call and it was wonderful to talk to someone who has quads. Here I was- my head absolutely spinning paralyzed by doubt that I would be able to handle this. She was so comforting. She told me that she had two pieces of advice for anyone carrying quads.
1. Do everything your doctor tells you.
Check. Did that.
2. Join a support group.
Check Check. Did that too.
I went to a meeting when I was 14 weeks pregnant. I was so happy to be in a room filled with ladies who were pregnant with or raising triplets or quadruplets. They were all doing it! This really could be done! Just knowing that there are others who are managing all of this makes me confident that I can too.
Let's face it. There are not that many people who will ever have quadruplets. At times, I feel very alone and even isolated. One of my closest friends since childhood loves to call and suggest big outings for just the two of us. She has a 3 yr old and a 1 yr old. She has several babysitters nearby ready and willing to come over any time and babysit. I love my friend dearly and we are still very close, but she doesn't get that it is not easy to find someone who can handle one 4 yr old and four 1 yr olds. The ladies in my group all know the difficulties of finding childcare for many children. Their lives are no longer "normal" and therefore they understand some of the complications we face.
There are also very practical purposes. My multiples group holds a used clothing and baby gear sale twice a year. It is an excellent opportunity to pick up quality gear at low prices and a great way to move items you no longer use. My quadruplets are three girls and a boy. The boy wears a lot of hand-me-downs from my older son, but I need to get all new for the girls. I have found a Mom with triplet girls about 1 yr older than my crew and I always look at the clothes her girls have outgrown. I also found a Mom with triplet girls about 1 yr younger than mine. I let her have first grabs at our old clothes.
I am tremendously grateful to have found this wonderful group of ladies. We span decades in age and come from all walks of life. Some of us have nothing in common other than having higher order multiples. Through this one similarity, we are often able to understand each others daily lives better than some family members. Knowing that someone out there understands can make all the difference in the world some days. We just want to know that we are not alone.