I didn't think that I would post about this since I mostly just write about the kids. What I have again been reminded, however, is that every single thing that happens to me now, is about the kids.
I recently went through a health scare. Specifically, I had a breast cancer scare. During my routine appointment, my gynecologist found a lump and sent me for a mammogram. After a mammogram and ultrasound, the radiologist expressed his concerns to me and scheduled a biopsy and an appointment two days later to receive my results.
Just a brief side note--A good nurse is an angel on earth. I actually learned this during all of my hospital/NICU time with the babies, but it was reinforced. All of the nurses at St. Elizabeth's Women's Wellness Center were so wonderful. None of this was fun, but a gentle hand on my shoulder and a kind nurse asking about what my kids will be for Halloween made an uncomfortable biopsy bearable.
I am very happy to say that everything is fine. I do not have cancer! From the moment my doctor told me he felt something until I was told that everything was fine (nearly two weeks later), I was very anxious. I worried about everything, but mostly I thought about my children.
While I worried about missing big moments in their lives, I mostly was upset thinking about not being there or being too sick to enjoy all of the little moments. I want to be the one playing with my kids. I want to push them on the swings. I want to cuddle and read books. While I like to think that they need me, I know that I need them. I am greedy and want to suck up as many moments with these kids as I can. As hard as some days are and as tiring as my crazy crew can be, I am so lucky to be the mother to these sweet little people. I need to remember that all of the time and I hope that I never get a reminder quite this big again.
I am cancer-free, but the doctors do want to keep an eye on things with mammograms every six months for a few years. While having a mammogram is not that much fun (I could think of many better ways to spend an hour...), I will be certain to make each and every appointment. I have too much I'm not willing to miss!